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It's OK To Not Feel Fulfilled as a Mother

Something I absolutely love about this day and age is that everyone is starting to be more honest and open about mental illness,  and trying to live the best life possible. There is still one problem that mothers have to hide.  They aren't allowed to admit they may not be fulfilled as a mother.   I am a mother of two.  I love them and would do anything for them, but I don't feel like I'm enough as just being a mother.   Being a mom is so hard,  it's all consuming and it's tough work. But I still don't feel like that is all I am.  I have this hole inside me
that tells me there is something else I need in my life.  When admitting that,  most moms look at me like I'm a terrible person.  That I shouldn't be feeling that way,  and it makes me feel even worse.  But I've accepted that this is just who I am.  Not all moms feel this way,  and that's great for them.  But for us moms that still don't feel fulfilled shouldn't be judged,  or made t…

What to Look For When Buying a Used Car

A while back, my husband and I had to get rid of one of our leased vehicles and get a cheaper monthly payment on a vehicle.  We were able to break our lease with no fee because of a special they had to go at the time.
Buying a new vehicle is always an exciting thing for me. I love changing it up and getting something new.  We decided because of where we live,  we should get a car with all-wheel drive that wasn't too bad of gas mileage.   We set our sites on a Subaru. I've always wanted one, and they are geat all-wheel-drive vehicles.   The dealer we went to was a Jeep Dealership,  and they luckily had one used Subaru in stock. It was Silver,  and not too many miles so it was an easy sell for me.  Unfortunately,  we were so ready to just get a car, we didn't think to check out every little thing to make sure it all worked properly before buying.  We bought that Subaru and headed on our way.   It wasn't until a rainstorm hit a month later,  that our back windshield wipe…

Celebrating our 6 Year Wedding Anniversary

6 years ago I was preparing to marry my (now) husband.  In Utah where we live,  marriage is obviously a big thing,  but we don't spend hundreds of thousands on our weddings.  I think my wedding cost us in total under $10,000 and it was everything I wanted for my wedding. 
I'm one to remember every little detail of big events in my life.  On my wedding day,  I could probably tell you every little detail of what I did that day,  what I thought about, etc.  I wish I could have more days that felt like my wedding day.  The excitement, the attention, feeling so beautiful.   I will always have fond memories of my wedding day and although nothing turned out perfect,  I'm glad I got to experience it.  

My husband has been married once before so his parents had already spent the money on a wedding.   We didn't want to ask them to do that again so we covered most of the costs ourselves, with help from my dad.  
The venue was unique and fun.   I found a garden store called Cactu…

And The Winner of the Fight is...

About a week ago I had this extremely bad fight with my husband.  One I didn't think we would bounce back from.  

Two weeks ago I started taking a new medication that has really been messing with my memory and mood and it's been awful, and although our marriage is far from perfect and I'm good at picking fights,  I still feel like it was partly because of this new medication that this particular fight got so out of hand.  
Being with someone who has a mental illness is emotionally draining,  it's also emotionally draining to be a parent,  and very emotionally draining to have mental illnesses... when you're dealing with all 3, you will often find yourself running on empty... for a very very long time.  
Anyway,  I have this tendency to be extra mean when I'm angry at my spouse.  Anyone else like that? Like he will say something rude that just sets me off and I will just say any mean thing I can think of until he backs the F off. 
I just have to be right. The wi…

Fun Fact Lowdown Vol. 6

I have always loved February for some reason.  I'm not quite sure why. I never really experienced a good Valentine's Day,  and I hate winter.. so it's just not the best time of year. But February always has this nice vibe to me. My husband and I ended up choosing the last day in February to get Married.  This year we are celebrating our 6 year anniversary which is exciting.  Hopefully, I'll be able to get a post in about it when it gets closer to the end of the month. I have been slacking on my Fun Facts Lowdown posts lately so I'm making it up with some interesting fun facts about ther wonderful month of February and why we should enjoy every day of it! 


February comes from the Latin word februa, which means “to cleanse.” The month was named after the Roman Februalia, which was a month-long festival of purification and atonement. 

Originally, February was made the last month of the calendar year!  Eventually (c. 450 BC), February was moved to its place as the seco…

Stay at Home Mom With The Flu

Have you ever gotten sick when you're the main caretaker of your kids? It is not fun. In the 4 years, I've been a mom,  I've gotten pretty lucky with sicknesses. The only time I had the flu was on a weekend when my husband was home to handle things for me.  But,  this year I was not so lucky.    A couple of weeks ago, my son brought home the flu from preschool,  or church,  or some random thing he touched in public... so I had to take care of that poor kid for a few days,  while my husband tried to avoid us all as much as possible (OCD problems).  Then, of course, a couple days later, my poor little 2 years old caught the flu from him.   And so on.. Now I'm finally recovering from the flu.. being a stay at home mom with the flu is one of the worst things to experience.  Being completely unable to move, and have two kids under the age of 5 that need to be taken care of is a nightmare. If you ever find yourself in this situation and don't have anyone to help you out…

Small Business Owners Need to Learn About FreshBooks!

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Do you own your own business? I used to run a photography business before I had my kids. It was great, I loved Pretty much every aspect of it... except the money. I was young, and I had no experience with a living or how to handle the money I made for my business. I was trying to just figure things on my own and I was slowly failing at it.
 Most of my competition had ways to take credit card payments and had a lot of time to focus on their clients. I felt like I was only able to focus on the accounting part. I was losing out on clients because I didn't have enough time in my schedule to take clients and figure out my business finances.

I had no idea what I was doing!

I stumbled across FreshBooks, which is a Small busin…