Saturday, June 23, 2018

How to Find Success in Life

Success is something everyone wants, but we might define it differently. A lot of people associate success with having lots of money or having a fancy job title. 
I think success can be a lot of different things. You can have success in relationships,  or creating that family you always wanted,  maybe it's being a successful athlete,  or getting that master or doctorates degree you have been working so hard to get. I think success can be anything you want that involves you to work hard to get. 

There are some things you can do to help you live the successful life you want. 

1. Have a great emotional intelligence. 

Emotional Intelligence is something that is important to work on regardless of where you are in your life. To have or improve on emotional intelligence, you need to work on understanding both your emotions and other people's emotions.

 When your able to identify how your feeling, you are able to control them better. It will help you to be able to step back and look at your feelings toward something and look at it as an outsider would see it. That can help with a lot of conflicts that may come up in your life.

When you're able to understand your own emotions,  it will help you notice how others are feeling, and even noticing people's nonverbal signs.

I have some information on another blog post to help you get started on having a better emotional intelligence. 

2. Perseverance and Willpower

These are characteristics that everyone has, but those who don't have strong willpower will have a harder time feeling successful in life. 

The good news is,  if you put In the effort to strengthen these characteristics, you will be more successful in your life. 
So what are some things you can work on to strengthen your willpower?

If you're like me,  I can hardly keep away from the sugary snacks after 7 pm. But I use my willpower to avoid those snacks which help me strengthen my willpower. If you want to strengthen your willpower, work on a small weakness you might have. Anything like drinking that nightly beer,  or any other addictive habits you might have.  
Set small goals to achieve to end these habits,  and if you continually follow through,  that helps you strengthen your willpower.
All it takes is practice, and maybe a good distraction to help you achieve your goals. 

3. Motivation

Motivation is a powerful tool to use. It's always easy to have your motivation be things like money or awards. But I think when you have more intrinsic or personal motivations, you're more likely to succeed. Usually son dr. I have an endearing for snacks, I give myself goals,  and if I succeed,  I reward myself with a yummy treat. It really motivates me!

4. Be Courageous, Curious, and Competitive

So,  people who have these traits aren't usually looking to articles like this to be successful. They are out there doing.  
I am a very introverted person who avoids conflict as much as possible. But I feel like I am still successful and still follow these 3 C's in a way my personality can handle. I push myself to be courageous in certain situations that I'd otherwise try to get out of, I'm always curious of everyone and everything around me and curious to see what happens when I try something out of my comfort zone,  I don't like to compete with others so I complete with myself.  Trying to outdo me.

Courage is one of the most common traits that come to mind when thinking about a successful person. They are the ones who aren't afraid to take risks.
It's hard to make yourself courageous,  but not impossible. How can you become better at overcoming your fears of taking the risk?
Positivity! If you can work on becoming a more positive thinker, fear can't take you down as easily. Positivity will help you see the good outcomes to the risks, which will make the bad side of the risk not look so bad.
I also think common sense is huge. When you work on your emotional intelligence, your gut feeling will start pushing you in the right directions. Most people who have low emotional intelligence have a hard time feeling those gut feelings. 
Gut feelings will tell you what risks feel right to go for, or which risks you shouldn't take. 

Being Curious of the world and what it has to offer is a trait that successful people have. 
If your one to avoid curiosity, get out of that habit now. A great way to help your curiosity is to relate tasks to your interests. 
I love to have things organized. It's hard for me to focus otherwise. But I also hate cleaning my House. Doesn't everyone? So I've made a game of it. If I have to do projects,  I do one at a time,  but I find a way to fit my organizing skills into it. Clean out the old food in the fridge? It gives me a chance to put all that food in different spots so everything fits better,  and I can find things easier. 
I know that doesn't sound like me being creative,  but when I organize,  I'm going by my own thoughts and ideas on how to organize,  so yes it can be creative. 

Another way to expand your curiosity is to learn new things. Even if you are an expert on a topic,  you can always find more things about that subject to learn about. 
Or if you see a cool building you pass every day on your way to work,  look it up. Find out when it was built,  the story behind it. Once you start doing things like that,  you will start finding more and more things you're curious about. It will help build your curiosity,  and knowledge of the world around you. 

 Competitiveness is something I used to always avoid. I hated when people were better than me. But I heard something once that changed my view on being competitive. Competition is a great motivator but does not help you if you fall prey to jealousy.
I was always jealous of others and that was my downfall. 
I decided to start using my competitive side against myself. I focused on what I was improving on. I stopped feeling like I needed to compete against others. 
If others succeed, focus on feeling happy for them.  Don't let your jealousy rule you. 

When your able to strengthen these things, you will start seeing more success in your life. 

Things will never change unless you change the things in your life holding you back. 

I hope you enjoyed this article and I hope you subscribe to my blog or email subscription to keep up with more of my articles. I love writing about these things that I've implemented in my life to make it better. And I'm hoping I can help someone else find ways to live a happier life. 

Please comment or email me. I'd love to hear from my subscribers about what topics you may want me to cover next, or even just chat!

Sunday, June 17, 2018

Can You Really Control Your Anxiety?

I love the fact that I've finally pushed through my issues enough to become a life coach.  I definitely am not perfect,  or completely over my anxiety and depression,  but I can finally manage it enough to do the things I want with my life.

After my last post I sent out,  I started feeling my anxiety coming back up. I heard the voices in my head questioning me.
"Are you really good enough?"
"No one is going to listen to you."
 "Might as well just give up now,  your not good enough for this."

I couldn't listen to it anymore.  I did some calming breathing exercises to clear my head and told myself that I am not my thoughts. I've come this far, I need to see this through to prove my anxiety does not control me.

So here I am! I'm pushing through my anxiety to do something I know I can do. And enjoy my life doing something I love.
If I can at least help one person feel more fulfilled in their life,  then I feel I have done my job.

Anyway, I want to discuss Anxiety and ways you can control it.

Anxiety affects around 18% of adults between ages 18-54 in the U.S.
It's something that can run your life, and make you miserable if you don't do anything about it.

Read your emotions

One thing you can do for yourself is read your own emotions. 
Easy right? No, it's really not. It took me forever to even realize I had anxiety. When I was younger I just didn't pay attention to myself and what I needed. So my anxiety kept getting worse,  and I didn't do a thing about it. 
A geat way to start reading your emotions,  is to ground yourself in every situation. Try to analyze how your body feels in every emotion your feeling. Joy,  anger, sadness.

 I've noticed for me, anger will trigger my anxiety. The anxiety then uses my anger to get extremely worked up,  and then I just lose all control of my emotions. 
 Now that I'm able to notice that,  I'm able to ground myself once I start to feel angry. That gives me control of my anger,  and helps me stop any anxiety attack I might have. 

When you're able to figure out what your feeling as it happens, you will be able to pinpoint your triggers to anxiety. That is the first step in calming your anxiety. 

Figure out how to cope

If you already know your triggers, then you need to find the right coping strategy to calm it before it gets out of hand. 
The way I calm myself is by using breathing exercises. When I calm myself and am able to think more clearly,  I'm able to make better decisions despite my anxiety and be who I chose to be. I don't allow my anxiety to make me the way it wants. 

If you can identify how your feeling,  and figure out why your feeling that way,  your mind will start expanding and be more capable of handling those intense emotions. 
When that happens,  you might notice your anxieties or stresses will get easier to control. And I feel like that's the ultimate goal. If you can control that, you're going to be happier. 

 If you want to be in control,  make a goal of identifying your emotions as they are happening. Try to get in tune with your body. Notice when you feel anxious, understand what feelings are behind it, and what has caused it. 
I want you to do that with good feelings as well. Notice what makes you smile (a genuine smile), and how it feels inside. Practicing this will help you notice and appreciate the good things that happen in your day. 

It sounds easy but it really isn't.  To try to achieve that goal, you have to focus on everything going on. you can't just put yourself on autopilot like we all tend to do

I'd love to hear from you if you have anxiety,  how do you cope with it? If you haven't found a good way to cope,  I'd love to give suggestions to see if they help you. Contact me and we can chat about it! 

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Saturday, June 9, 2018

3 reasons your unhappy and how to fix it.

Life is hard enough as it is, so why make things harder than they have to be. Below I listed a few things that may be causing your unhappiness that you may not have thought of. I believe everyone has at least one of these things that they can work on to live a happier life.

1. Low Emotional Intelligence
Emotional intelligence is how you handle things emotionally. I believe everyone needs to work on their emotional intelligence.
If you are the type of person that flies off the handle after an irritating thing happens, or you tend to make mountains out of mull hills during an argument,  you probably have low Emotional Intelligence.
 I had low emotional intelligence for a long time until I found this self-help book that opened my eyes. I always just thought I was a stubborn person and moody, but I felt really unhappy when I would get so upset over silly things,  or start fuming because I accidentally dropped something. I know it sounds extreme but that's how I was, and I thought it was normal. I wasn't the type of person that seeks out self-help things to help with my problems. Luckily I gave it a shot. In the book The Mindfulness playbook, it talked about Emotional Intelligence  ( or EQ) being a big key for happiness. EQ is not the same as IQ. You can be extremely smart but still, have low EQ.

The good news is,  there is a way to improve your EQ. To grow your EQ, you need to work on noticing when your starting to get upset. When you feel that anger or frustration,  you need to quickly take a few deep breaths and just focus on your breathing. Doing that will help your body relax and your mind calm down.  After about 10 seconds of just focusing on your breathing,  you can reassess the situation that made you upset in the first place. Most of the time,  you will see that it really isn't worth getting so upset over and you will be able to handle it better.  That is growing your EQ, and in return help, you be happier.

2. You're stuck in the same boring routine

You may not have noticed but sometimes doing the exact same thing every day can get boring, and usually, boredom leads to being unhappy. A great way to change up your routine is to just do something differently. If you eat breakfast in your car,  wake up 5 minutes earlier to eat at home, or drink your morning coffee outside before you leave for work,  these Little things can break up the monotony of your daily routine and give you something to look forward to during the week. If you're like me, little things don't do that much to fix the issue.  When I'm bored with my routine,  I go out and learn a new hobby, or read a book about a subject I've been interested in but haven't gotten around to.

Something to live by when you're trying to change up your life is D.I.D. it means Do It Differently.  If you drive the same way to work every day,  do it differently by looking for a different route to drive.
I also like to use D.I.D. for bad habits like swearing, if I stub my toe my first reaction is to spout off a swear word. Now that I notice this bad habit it makes it easier in those situations to D.I.D.  I'll stop my self from saying anything,  or replace with a better word like "ouch".
Try finding a bad habit that you don't like about yourself,  work on catching yourself doing it,  and then D.I.D. trust me,  you will find satisfaction in it. Which will help you feel happier!

3. You haven't found your passion 

I think finding your passion is one of the most important things you can do in your life. If you don't know what your passionate about,  I suggest trying to figure it out by taking classes, trying new hobbies, or even volunteering. 
It took me 25 years to figure out being a life coach is what I am passionate about. I have always been the person who wants to help people.  I am the person who my friends and family seek out to talk about their problems,  or just have someone listen. I enjoy it too.
 I also love fostering dogs.  I work with a local rescue,  they show me a list of dogs that need to be fostered and I'm able to choose what dog will work with our family the best.  It's an odd thing I know,  but it just feels great knowing I saved a dog from a high kill shelter and gave my personal dog a dog friend to play with. I'd suggest trying it out if you're a dog person! They also have a cat and other animal rescues that you can foster animals for.

I hope you enjoyed reading this and I hope these tips will help you enjoy life a little more. 
If you have a question you want me to talk about,  please email me! Next week ill tell you a little about me and what else has helped me have a happier life.
Have a wonderful week everyone!

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