How to Survive Your Loved one's OCD
Last week I wrote a blog post about my husband and how he has OCD. I'm going to share more helpful information for those who might be in a similar situation. Just so everyone knows, my husband has given me permission to exploit anything about him as long as my blog makes money. so help me keep exploiting him by clicking on my ads!
Anyway, every day is a new kind of struggle for me. I hate arguing, and being told how to do things.. and with an OCD husband, there is a lot of stupid arguments, and being told I'm doing everything wrong. I'm a very stubborn person so if I'm told to do something by him, I usually get really mad and tell him to "get over it, and do it himself". Which of course always starts a fight. I have been trying to work on how to make my life and my husband's life little more bearable with OCD getting in the way. Here are some things I've learned.
Don't give in:
The worst thing you can do for someone with OCD helps them with their rituals. My husband used to be able to wash his hands.. then one day he asked me to turn the faucet on for him. I didn't think anything of it the first time.. and then later he asked me to do it again and again.. by the end of the day I was exhausted just getting up to turn on the water for him... so I told him he needs to wash his own hands. If he can't handle touching the faucet, then he doesn't get to wash his hands.
Of course in his mind, I was being the ridiculous one. It led to a nice long fight, but he mostly stopped asking me after that.
Don't tell them to get over it:
That is the least helpful thing to say to someone with OCD. Just like any mental illness, it's not their fault they have it. They need positivity from their spouse, that can help them work on getting better. Instead of saying "get over it", say something like
" I get you to think I'm doing something everything because of your OCD, but I'm my own person. I can handle myself."
My husband still hates when I say that because it takes his power away from telling me to change my habits. But it helps him back off of me and only focus on his stuff.
Don't expect perfection:
Even if your partner is taking medication, and going to a psychologist that specializes in OCD. Don't expect them to get better. Some people can overcome OCD, but from what I've learned, they just get rid of their usual OCD habits and create a whole new OCD issue with something else.
Remember to take time for yourself:
You are dedicating your life to your spouse but you need to keep your own mind and body healthy to keep your marriage healthy.
I've spent countless hours focused on my husband. How to avoid arguments, how to help him get things done faster so we can spend time with each other, and how to keep my kids from doing something that might set my husband's OCD off. It's a lot of exhausting work. I would often forget to take care of myself and it would lead to a lot of depression and anxiety for me.
Life is hard when OCD is involved. So I hope that if your in a similar situation as I am, you can help your relationship work better by trying these tips.
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