How to Survive Your Loved one's OCD

Last week I wrote a blog post about my husband and how he has OCD.  I'm going to share more helpful information for those who might be in a similar situation. Just so everyone knows, my husband has given me permission to exploit anything about him as long as my blog makes money. so help me keep exploiting him by clicking on my ads!

Anyway,  every day is a new kind of struggle for me. I hate arguing, and being told how to do things.. and with an OCD husband, there is a lot of stupid arguments,  and being told I'm doing everything wrong. I'm a very stubborn person so if I'm told to do something by him,  I usually get really mad and tell him to "get over it, and do it himself". Which of course always starts a fight. I have been trying to work on how to make my life and my husband's life little more bearable with OCD getting in the way. Here are some things I've learned. 

Don't give in:
The worst thing you can do for someone with OCD helps them with their rituals. My husband used to be able to wash his hands.. then one day he asked me to turn the faucet on for him. I didn't think anything of it the first time.. and then later he asked me to do it again and again.. by the end of the day I was exhausted just getting up to turn on the water for him... so I told him he needs to wash his own hands. If he can't handle touching the faucet,  then he doesn't get to wash his hands.

Of course in his mind,  I was being the ridiculous one. It led to a nice long fight, but he mostly stopped asking me after that.

Don't tell them to get over it:
That is the least helpful thing to say to someone with OCD. Just like any mental illness,  it's not their fault they have it. They need positivity from their spouse, that can help them work on getting better. Instead of saying "get over it", say something like
 " I get you to think I'm doing something everything because of your OCD, but I'm my own person. I can handle myself."

My husband still hates when I say that because it takes his power away from telling me to change my habits. But it helps him back off of me and only focus on his stuff. 

Don't expect perfection:
Even if your partner is taking medication,  and going to a psychologist that specializes in OCD. Don't expect them to get better. Some people can overcome OCD, but from what I've learned, they just get rid of their usual OCD habits and create a whole new OCD issue with something else. 

Remember to take time for yourself:
You are dedicating your life to your spouse but you need to keep your own mind and body healthy to keep your marriage healthy.
I've spent countless hours focused on my husband.  How to avoid arguments, how to help him get things done faster so we can spend time with each other,  and how to keep my kids from doing something that might set my husband's OCD off. It's a lot of exhausting work. I would often forget to take care of myself and it would lead to a lot of depression and anxiety for me.
so I have learned to find time for myself to do what I need to be able to relax and help me stay sane.

Life is hard when OCD is involved. So I hope that if your in a similar situation as I am, you can help your relationship work better by trying these tips. 

Follow my blogs to get updated on my articles regarding my OCD experiences and tips. 


  1. Hello! My fiance has contamination OCD as well, so I totally understand you! Although we are not living together yet we have traveled together and sometimes it is a nightmare. He sometimes has to take long showers and wash anything that by accidente he touched with his "contaminated hands". And as you said these issues sometimes lead to arguments and fights. I think is fantastic that you (and him) have decided to talk about it because it's more common than we think, just that sometimes those who suffer this condition are too ashamed to talk about it. I'll subscribe to get in touch :)

  2. I used to have mild OCD when I was a child. I can see how it could consume someone's life. Knowing what to do with loved ones who have severe cases of it is important.

  3. What a great post. I don't have anyone with OCD in my life but I have a son who has been affected by Autism and your tips are applicable to that as well. Thank you for writing!

  4. This is very helpful information for someone living with an OCD partner.
    I have someone very close to me with bipolar and disassociative personality disorder and when untreated, it's physically and mentally exhausting.
    I think it's important to remember it's not their fault, but also not to enable certain behaviors.
    Thank you for sharing.

  5. Thank you for your openness about OCD. I've had students with it, and your posts help me understand them a little better and give me ideas of how to handle different situations.

  6. Such a great perspective. We use the term OCD so loosely sometimes but it can actually be really a big deal for someone.

  7. I appreciate your willingness to share your experiences with your husband's OCD and am happy I came across this article. It gives me new perspective and understanding on those who may be going through a similar situation


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