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Questions to Ask Yourself Before you Marry Someone with OCD

In America alone, 2.2 million people over the age of 18 have been diagnosed with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. That's about 1% of American adults.  

1% doesn't sound like a ton of people,  but there are still a lot of people who are not officially diagnosed with it that still have it without knowing what it is.

You might meet someone and have a relationship and not know they have it until later in your relationship when you have fallen in love. 
That happened to me.  My husband has severe contamination OCD. Meaning everything is dirty/germy to him. 
I didn't know he had OCD until we were engaged,  and I pretty much diagnosed him by looking up all these things that he would do that I thought was odd. 

Being with someone with OCD is hard. Especially if you marry that person, and have kids with them. 
So if you have ended up with someone from that 1%, definitely think about the life you will have before completely committing to them. 

Questions to think about:

Are you patient? 
Patience is a huge thing you will need when spending your life with someone who has OCD. Have patience with their rituals,  and know that they will most likely get worse and it's really up to them to decide if they want to work towards getting a handle on their OCD. It's very hard having patience sometimes. 

What do you expect from a partner?
One of the best questions you can ask yourself before getting married is what do you expect from them?
I wanted to be a stay at home mom,  which my husband taught at first but agreed to.  But now that I want to be a little more independent and maybe go to work,  my husband won't even let me try it. If I start going to work then he has to take equal responsibility in taking care of the kids.  Which is extremely hard for him.  He can barely be around the kids when they are sick. Changing diapers is a nightmare for him. 
Most of these problems are because of his contamination OCD. With other types of OCD, you will have different situations that you will have to learn to work around. 

Are you ready to have a marriage with your partner,  and OCD?
Everyone has troubles in their marriage. No marriage will ever be perfect, but OCD is like a whole other person that is involved in your marriage. It tells you what to do,  how to live, is never satisfied with the way you do things, and you literally have to share your spouse with it and accept the fact that OCD will come first most of the time. That's just your side of things.  Imagine what the person with OCD has to deal with. 

Do you have a good support system?
You won't always find support with your partner because they can only see their OCD and their OCD is always right. 
Make sure if you plan to get married to your partner south OCD, that you have a good support system. Family,  counseling, and friends can help you get through the tough times. 

Marriage is a lifelong commitment,  and OCD will always be there just like any mental illness,  or physical illness would be. Before you make the vow to be together in sickness and in health, make sure you know what you need to be happy and make sure that person can provide it.

If you have any questions for me about my experiences,  please feel free to contact me. I will always respond to comments and emails.

Email me at


  1. You are a tollerant lady, but the earlier you know the better chance you have of a successful mariage. Super post. Happy Christmas.

  2. Coming from some one with OCD, this post comes across as insensitive and offensive. OCD is hard. It's harder when people think you are weird or "mentally ill " for doing things a certain way. Yes I'm sure it takes alot of patience to be married to some one with OCD. I find that we have to be equally as patient. It's also hard for us to understand people who dont have it. We dont mean to be hard to get along with. I'm thankful for my loving husband everyday!


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